Geriatrics, Idiots & Construction – Oh my!

Aside from falling asleep at 3:20 am and waking up at 8 am, today started out pretty well. Since I was up late doing dishes (or rather blogging and watching Hoarders), I made my coffee last night so that all I had to do was turn on the pot this morning. First problem solved. I’m a firm believer that chance favors the prepared mind. Perhaps someday I’ll be a firm practicer instead of just a believer. Heh, I’ll put that on my list of things to get to, someday.

Anyhoo…

It became apparent while helping Sir Handsome the Hubster get ready for the upcoming wedding show that I would have to go to the store for supplies, namely mints. So, as Hub was getting ready to leave to help set up the show, I got Loodle ready to head to Wal-Mart.
I feel the need to preface the following section by saying that I have nothing against older folks. Matter of fact, I get older each day. I do have something against older folks that drive but shouldn’t. It IS possible to be TOO cautious and cause an accident as a result of said caution.
On the plus side, it wasn’t a weekend. So, the crowds were much better than they could have been. On the downside – it must have been National Geriatric Driving Day. (Damn it, I didn’t send out cards!) On 4 separate occasions I got stuck behind either someone far too old and cautious to still be driving or just a general idiot.

(Cranky + Tired + Hungry Kid) (Road Construction +Geriatrics + Idiots) = Cussing Mom

The formula might not be written correctly, but regardless how you work it out, the answer is still the same.

Wal-Mart went pretty well, aside from the fact that I had about 5 items on my list and came out having spent around $100 (biz purchase of $12, personal purchase of $88, the giant, GIANT hairdo I saw at Wal-Mart - Priceless). Really expected my husband to flip his ever-lovin’ lid, but he took it well. I didn’t get anything too extravagant. Most of it was groceries… and none of it wonderful-fatty-goodness snacks.

After working my way past geriatrics, idiots & construction (oh my) – we hit up the bank.

Loodle KNOWS the TRUE purpose of banks. They’re the place that you visit for a free sucker (just like all 7-11’s are called “Slurkee” and all Starbucks are “Cookie House”). She was all over the place in the bank and must have lost her hearing the moment we stepped thru the doors, because she didn’t listen to me once. So that must be why she didn’t hear me say, “Girls who don’t listen to their mommies don’t get suckers at the bank.”

So, the fact that she didn’t get a sucker didn’t register until we were leaving. And then the meltdown happened.

“Oh NO! My suckah, my suckah!”

“You weren’t a good girl, so you don’t get a sucker”

{Hysterical sobbing}

“What my gon do NOW?”

{More sobbing as car seat is buckled}

“Vers nuffing to DO!”

You see, my 2 year old isn’t turning 3 on her next birthday. She’s actually going to be 14. She constantly tells me, “Vers nuffing to do.” She also got on my case in Wally-world today saying (whilst holding up her hand like a crossing guard making traffic stop), “Don’t make me MAD!” She’s also got pelvic moves better than me. Okay, maybe not quite better than me, but better than me at 16. I can thank “Alex Madamasmar” for that (aka Alex the Lion from Madagascar). She also talks on the phone like a CHAMP. Not always the real phone, mind you. She’s very hot & cold with that. But, when she’s on her play phone, she’ll pace the floor, switch ears & use phrases that Mom & Dad use. Thankfully they’ve all been good so far.

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Brief break for Loodle’s bath
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Tonight whilst bathing my daughter, I discovered one of her new vocab words. She grabbed the colloidal oatmeal from under the cupboard and informed me, “It’s hell-fee” (that was ‘healthy’ – in Loodle speak) I mean, I know it helps soothe her poor, eczema ridden skin. But to hear that phrase coming from her mouth…

After the bath, she informs me of the following fact, “Mommy, you’re my best fwiend.”

And on that sweet note – I’ll close. Can’t compete with THAT!